Song of The Wolf
by darkmark111
Summary: Songfic to 'Nature Boy' from Moulin Rouge. About the night Remus tells everyone what he becomes when the moon is full. Somewhat implied RemusSirius, but hardly there. No visible slash.


**Song of the Wolf**

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Challenge (by timeturner): Hmmm...I love it when people ask this.

I challenge you to write an angsty/tragic fic about the Marauders on the night they learn Remus' secret. You can add any additional characters you feel necessary, but I see it as them locked away somewhere as they try to find a solution to the whole ordeal. Hate him/be his friend/run far far away. Options are endless.

And I hate rules so other than limiting it to a one shot, I have none.

Breathe, Remus told himself. In and out. Inhale and Exhale. Ignore the pounding of your heart. Ignore the waxing moon. Ignore how everything seems to be in slow motion. _Breath, man. Be tranquil. _

But Remus couldn't ignore those things. Though he knew he had at least an hour to go before he and his friends would be safely alone in the Gryfinndor Tower, his breath couldn't help but catch, his hands couldn't help but shake, and his heart couldn't help but hammer against his chest.

How could he divulge the one secret he had held deep inside of himself for years on end? How could he let it fly loose like some horror from Pandora's box? Remus had no idea, nor did he know how exactly to go about it. _Yes, I'll just say, 'Hey guys, Guess what? I'm a werewolf!'_ He thought sardonically. _Sure, that'll do. _

"You okay, Remus?" Sirius asked, unable to hide his puckish grin.

"Er –" But before he could answer, James and Sirius clattered their forks on their plates to the tune of a slow funeral march.

"Dun dun dun dun, dun dun dun dun dun dun dun!" They sung in extremely low voices, then burst into a laughing fit. Remus glared at him, which was all too easy since his eyelids (which seemed to be full of lead) where slipping down to cover his eyes constantly. He was so tired. So, so tired…

"Please stop." He knew he sounded pitiful, practically begging, but tears stung his eyes. He wanted to badly just to retreat into his dreams, to forget about this dark cloud hanging over his head, to forget that he had left his umbrella at home. The room seemed blurred now. His head drooped. He was so weak. Last night had felt a hundred hours long. He had worn a turtle neck today to hide the scratches and bites…oh, if only all feeling would leave him!

There was a boy  
A very strange  
Enchanted boy

"Rem, are you sick again? Or, wait…is your Aunt okay?" James asked, his eyes acquiring a very serious glow. Remus recalled the story he had fed them for months about his sick aunt. He couldn't believe they hadn't put two and two together yet. He would have thought his friends more capable than that.

"My Aunt is fine. She has…recovered. I'm just…" he yawned. "Kind of tired."

"We can see that." Sirius said. Peter muttered something incomprehensible, but Remus was too tired to ask him to repeat himself.

"Let's go up to the Common Room, alright? Nobody will be there anyways since the dance is tonight."

"Where's Lily?" Remus asked quietly.

James seemed to growl. Sirius sneered, "Probably out with Snivellus somewhere. I pray he hasn't robbed her yet."

Remus half-smiled. "Still haven't forgiven him for the Sickle Incident, eh?"

"Will I ever?" Sirius said wryly. "C'mon Rem, let's go, you're practically dead on your feet."

When they were deep inside the warmth of Gryfinndor Tower they situated themselves comfortably in front of the fire. Sirius took off his shoes, revealing pink socks, and let his feet rest on the hearth. He sighed contently and smiled, his eyes drooping shut.

"Nice socks, Sirius." James snickered at the atrocious magenta hue.

"Thank you very much, mate. The lady at the shop said it was 'Manly-Man Pink'." He grinned.

"Yes, very manly man…if you're a man that lives for men." James retorted playfully.

"Oh, nice one. I'll have to remember to loan Snivellus these socks, if that's the case."

They all laughed, Remus a little nervously. Sirius sat straight up and glared at Remus, who sat rooted to the spot in surprise.

"Remus, what's up with you? You've been weird all night." Sirius observed, giving him a funny look. James and Peter agreed.

"I – erm…" Remus trailed off. They waited patiently, eyeing him. "I have something to tell you."

They say he wandered  
Very far, very far  
Over land and sea

"Spit it out." Peter said.

Remus' heart started to pound. He struggled to keep control of himself. The lump in his throat nearly gagged him as he begun to speak, but he went on.

"I'm…I'm not what you think I am." He wrung his hands uncomfortably.

_Breath Remus. Breath._

"I'm a werewolf."

James' eyes grew wide, Sirius stood up abruptly and looked madly at him; Peter looked terrified and, as usual, helpless.

Sirius took a step back from him. Remus stood up, struggling with his tears. "How…how long have you been…this way?"

"Since I was a child." Remus answered quietly, ashamed of what he was once again.

Sirius' face contorted with anger and grew a passionate red. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US? WE ARE YOUR FRIENDS! IF YOU CAN'T TELL YOUR FRIENDS THINGS LIKE THIS, WHO CAN YOU TELL!" He bellowed. Remus lost his battle and a tear slipped down his cheek.

"I – I just- it was h-hard –"

"SO WHAT? _SO WHAT!_" Sirius roared. Remus was sobbing now. This is exactly what he had been afraid of.

"Sirius, calm down. Don't you think this is hard enough for Rem as it is –"

"Shut up, James! Aren't you mad at him for not telling us, for hiding this for all the time he's known us! For Christ's sake, he's a _werewolf_!" He yelled.

"No, you shut up, Sirius! Stop berating him! He's still the same person!" James retorted angrily.

"Well, you can just –"

"STOP IT! Both of you, stop it! This is exactly what I didn't want! This is exactly why I was never going to tell you!" Remus cried, sobbing. He just wanted to sleep. He wanted to end this. He didn't want to hear the yelling any longer.

A little shy and sad of eye  
But very wise was he

Ashamed, he wiped his tears away. The room was silent now, save the sound of Sirius' heavy breathing and Remus' occasional sniffs. Peter's watery little eyes were bugging out of his head and James was looking at his hands, speechless. Peace might have settled in if Sirius had just kept his mouth shut, but fate was cruel.

"Monster," Sirius said quietly.

Remus gave him one last gloomy look then walked slowly to his dormitories. He was defeated. He was defenseless. He was helplessly tired. Without even changing into his pajamas, he collapsed on his bed and slipped into the deepest sleep he had ever experienced in his life.

For the next week, James and Peter were too unnerved to approach Remus, and Sirius was still too angry. Lily spent the majority of her time with Severus Snape, so Remus was, for the first time in all his time at Hogwarts, alone. And it was horrible.

He went through his classes quietly, diligently working on his studies, just trying to forget about everything that had happened that night. It was working, too. His grades had risen to their highest levels in years, he noticed. But even so, the loneliness was killing him. It was especially horrible on the nights of full moons.

One day he was sitting in the Astronomy Tower, watching Perseus for Professor Sinistra, who had gone to dinner. He stared at the constellation, feeling hollow, unfocused. He sighed sadly, filled with regret. It was eating at him like poison.

The sound of a footstep caused him to turn around.

And then one day  
One magic day  
He passed my way

"What are you doing here?" Remus asked stonily. "How did you find me?"

"I asked Professor Sinistra." Sirius answered quietly. Even in the darkness, Remus could tell his cheeks were red. Perhaps, he prayed, not from anger, but from shame.

"What are you doing here?" Remus repeated.

"I…well…I've been thinking, Remus." He rubbed his arms uncomfortably. Remus shifted his telescope to stare at the moon, which was almost full. Feeling as though he had been stung, he shifted it again and stared longingly at Venus. This comforted him.

"That's a start."

"Stop. Can't you understand I'm trying to apologize?"

Remus sighed, still gazing at Venus. "Go on."

"Well…I know you hate me and you don't want to see me…but looking at me would be the least you could do."

Remus turned to him, hating every second of this suffocating conversation.

While we spoke  
Of many things  
Fools and kings  
This he said to me

"I…well…I just…Remus, you're like my brother. I'm sorry for what I said. I wasn't thinking correctly. I don't care what your are. You're still Remus to me. I…I love you." Sirius finished. Remus was honored to see tears in his eyes.

Sirius turned to go, but before he could make it to the stairway, Remus lept off of his stool and embraced him. He could feel Sirius' smile and his hot tears. Reluctantly, Remus found he was shedding a few tears himself.

Sirius broke the embrace and smiled, wiping his face with his sleeve. "C'mon, Remus. Let's go booby trap the Slytherin Table."

"Okay."

"The greatest thing  
You'll ever learn  
Is just to love and  
Be loved in return"

THE END


End file.
